"Before I died," Martel clarifies himself, any proper sort of a motivation veiled behind his eyes, "perhaps before I knowingly allied with Azash. Back to Demos." Penitent, he means, but he's not going to spell it out any further than that - he isn't sure he wants to hear the answer. It'd be a cold comfort now to know that he was damned the instant he stepped across the first line, as he'd thought then, and a twist of the knife to think it could've gone any other way.

(He met Sera, once, Maryani's daughter, and that's how he has to think of her for his own sanity. The implications, otherwise, are too much.)

Martel exhales and interrupts himself before Sparhawk could even have time to respond to that, regardless. "What if you don't? What if I wanted to - visit." (He twists the word like the worst kind of joke.)